I am not going to advise you regarding the moral implications concerning sexual activity. You have a set of values and beliefs that already tell you whether you should or shouldn’t be sexually active, so let’s not belabor that issue. I will not, however, leave you uninformed regarding the truth about not practicing abstinence. This mistake has lead to the destruction of many Pinehaven Alumni before you, and I will stop at nothing to assist in preventing that in your life.
I will tell you a few simple truths about sex. Then we will discuss the implications of living an active sexual lifestyle. From there, you can make your own decisions, and accept your own consequences.
1) I can absolutely guarantee that if you do not have sex, you will not get a girl pregnant.
2) If you do have sex, and don’t use contraceptives, you have a 97% chance of getting a girl pregnant.
3) If you do have sex, and don’t use protection, you have a 46% chance of getting an STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease).
4) Having sex with a girl does not demonstrate masculinity in any way shape or form.
5) Having sex with a girl does not secure a relationship between you and her.
6) Just because a girl has sex with you, it does not mean she loves, or even likes you.
So, here’s the truth. If you do decide to live a sexually active lifestyle, you take on many risks. Ask yourself these questions. Am I ready to be a father? Am I willing to contract a disease that will kill me?
If the answer is yes, then spin the wheel and take your chances. If the answer is no, then begin to think and plan ahead of time what you will do. Keep in mind that no contraceptive is 100% effective. Condoms can fail, and female contraceptives can fail (or not even be taken). Never accept a condom from a girl. Even if it’s wrapped, a needle can be stuck through from the seam undetectably. Never assume that a girl is telling the truth when she says she’s “on the pill”, or has an IUD (internal device that helps prevent pregnancy). Never assume that your sexual partner is STD free – just because she says so.
Now, for the emotional side of sex. Leaving Pinehaven, you more than likely have a deep desire for approval. You want to demonstrate that “masculine” nature you’ve developed working long hours on the ranch. Your first reaction to meeting a girl is going to be an attempt to demonstrate this false sense of masculinity. I can assure you that by getting a girl to have sex with you, you will not be demonstrating this in any way shape or form. Simply put – you have no idea what you are doing. To this end, avoid sexual activity as a way to “prove yourself” to a girl. Sex does not make you a man, rather being able to care for, protect, and build up a woman while maintaining your own responsibilities…that’s what makes you a man.
Never, I repeat, never – have sex with a girl in order to keep her with you. If you ever receive a sexual ultimatum (do it, or else I will…) – do not walk, RUN away. The girl who presents this is insecure, irresponsible, and is only trying to lock you into a relationship on her terms. This control method is often accompanied by sabotage of birth control and contraceptives, and will surely trap you into a dependent relationship, and ultimately a parental burden.
Finally, never assume that because a girl has sex with you, that she loves you, cares for you, or even likes you. Many times, an insecure and irresponsible girl will attempt to lock you into a financial burden (using a child), solely for the monthly check. Be wary of women who come on to you very quickly. They can make you feel attractive, desirable, and manly, but in the end will leave you with nothing, except possibly a paternal responsibility or an irreversible health condition. If you have joined the military, be extra cautious. Military towns are crawling with women searching to land themselves a man because they know you have financial stability, a constant paycheck, and that the Department of Defense will not allow you to deny your children support.
Women your age are as curious about sex as you are. Many are looking for the relationship stability you might also seek, and may be making similar mistakes as you. Having sex with these women may be an easy thing to do, as they may initiate the idea. Once again, be wary of these attractive propositions. Even if you practice “safe” sex, you may be binding a relationship together that you do not want long-term, and will be subject to great drama, heartache and possible public humiliation once you attempt to end the relationship.
Remember these three points, and it will help you protect your mind, your heart, your body and your life from adverse consequences:
1) There is no greater accelerator of both positive and negative human emotions than sexual union. No faster way to attach yourself emotionally to another. However, just like anything else in nature, speed and stability are rarely cooperative elements.
2) There is no such thing as “safe” sex. Whether physical, emotional, or mental – every sexual relationship has lifelong effects. Do not think for a second that a one night stand, a single encounter, or even a drunken “hook up” will ever leave your mind. More guilt is linked to sexual actions than any other source.
3) There is no such thing as a 100% effective form of contraceptive. Medical contraceptives require honesty, while physical contraceptives require proper use – both allow a very small margin of error.
If you choose to have sex – then you choose to risk negative consequences. Ask yourself if it’s worth it. Make up your mind, and live with the responsibility of your decisions.
