Imagine for a moment, if you will – a horse. Day in and day out, the horse is contained within a corral with nothing to do but eat, sleep and stare off into the horizon dreaming of running through the fields, over hills, anywhere and as far away from his corral as possible. Yet, for some reason unbeknownst to the horse, it is never let free. While in the corral it has all the creature comforts of the world outside that fence. It has plenty of food to eat, plenty of water to drink, and companionship with other horses. The only thing missing from that horses life is freedom – the choice to roam where he wants, to fend for himself, and to risk everything, or nothing at his own will.
What will happen when, after years of being penned up, the horse is finally set free? Will he automatically adopt the behaviors and lifestyle that he has grown accustomed to while penned up, or will he run free and far, experiencing every step, every breath, and every horizon that he can?
I am in no way insinuating that you have the intelligence of a horse! I am, however, attempting to paint a clear picture of what you are experiencing now that you have left the structured confines of Pinehaven Christian Children’s Ranch. You have been set free, and the choice is yours to make regarding what you will do, how you will act, and whether you will follow your natural human inclinations, or exercise self-control, prudence and civility as you venture into this new world you have only been able to dream about.
Let’s start with some foundational understandings that will set a foundation for your decision making regarding interacting with females in the “real world”.
1) You are physically, biologically and absolutely 100% male, therefore you think like a male, feel like a male, and experience the chemical, hormonal, and sexual stimulations of a male.
2) These chemical, hormonal and sexual stimulations are natural, not wrong.
3) These chemical, hormonal and sexual stimulations can be controlled.
4) You have had a very limited amount of interaction with females and have little understanding of their psychological and physiological makeup.
5) The little exposure you have had to females has been within a contained, controlled, unnatural setting – altering the reality of real, genuine human emotion, and natural social interaction.
6) The behavioral patterns you have witnessed amongst females within a contained, controlled, unnatural setting are not the behavioral patterns that exist in the “real world”.
7) You have lived within a system of gender role establishment and hierarchy that is misaligned with modern society (i.e. men work, woman wash, cook, clean and serve men).
Now that we have identified the foundational understandings that will set a foundation for your decision making regarding female interaction, let’s explore ways to use these factors to your benefit, your protection, and ultimately to your success in relationships and friendships.
Understand Your Physical Nature
You are a man. You have the body, mind and spirit of a man. However, you do not have a natural inclination to act like a man. A man thinks of others before himself. A man takes care of the situations and environments around him, claiming responsibility rather than accepting it. A man maintains control over himself, his desires, his emotions and his actions.
Now that you have left the sheltered, censored social environment of Pinehaven Christian Children’s Ranch, you are going to witness an entire new world of possibilities that did not exist behind your barbed wire and cattle guard commune. You will see images. You will hear of opportunities. You will feel new emotions, and you will more than likely simultaneously feel confusion, amazement, curiosity and absolute wonder. Your world has now expanded beyond routine into diversity, and you will have more options, more opportunities, and more choices than you’ve ever had before. But here’s the catch – you can only choose one path. You cannot have it all.
You only get one moment, one minute, one hour and one day. You cannot relive any decision you make, and although you may make amends, you can never take back a word or an action. Once the bullet has left the barrel, there is no stopping it. To this end, you must live each moment for itself and for its greatest benefit. Each moment’s greatness is built upon the success of previous moments. To this end, you must exercise the self-control, the responsibility to yourself that will ensure that your future moments are as great and wonderful as the moment you stand at now.
So what does all this have to do with girls?
At this moment, you have nothing to offer a woman. Sorry, but it’s true. You could offer love, but you do not fully understand what love a women is searching for, because you do not have an honest understanding of woman. This is not your fault, but it is your responsibility to learn. Would you take on the responsibility of running a factory if you did not know how each machine works, or even what the product is that the factory produces? Absolutely not! You must view woman in the same fashion. You must take the time to learn about women, talk to women, and discover the amazing power, compassion, and creativity that personality that women have. You must take the time to study them, and most importantly, learn from them. Do not assume to know anything about them, but always assume responsibility for them.
Eventually, as you learn more about woman, you will begin to understand how your manliness can fit into their lives, not as a controlling, authoritative leader, but as a companion, a protector and a teammate. You will understand how to love.
This is when you are ready to consider, “Should I have a girlfriend?”
